Already got asked if we're dating
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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