Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
