Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize