I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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