you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
