I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
