i just google imaged poop.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
