I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
