Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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