I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
