I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
