Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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