i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
People in love make me want to vomit
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
