Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize