One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
