how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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