she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
