I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
