So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize