I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
