Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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