I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
