she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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