Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
