I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
