i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
operation have a gay friend backfired
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
