I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
