brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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