her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize