I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize