I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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