I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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