he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
