ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
even my farts smell like vagina
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I would ride that face into the sunset
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
