i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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