When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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