I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
