Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize