I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
