he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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