there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If that was your dad, he is hot
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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