I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
