All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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