Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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