Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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