how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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