Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
