brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
