Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
