Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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