i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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