I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
