My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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