Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
