I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
