its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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