Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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