Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
