Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
