Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
