Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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