you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
