; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
