i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
