You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize