My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
