Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
