he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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