chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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