you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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