god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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