ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
