No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
