shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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