5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
