I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
