Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
two words...techno handjob
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Boobs are out for the taking
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
